
I do not identify as a Disney fan.
The boys like Cars, Toy Story, and The Incredibles. And Nemo. And Ralph. And Sully. And on and on. Whatever. We make sacrifices for our children. And so, I put myself on the line and go to the movie theater twice a year with the two brothers to catch whatever animated flick the mass of society is being forced to endure.
This year, with their birthday movie theater gift cards, we went to see Frozen.
I knew nothing of it before we entered the darkened theater — other than the reindeer and snowman and carrot scene that we were forced to endure when we saw Wreck It Ralph the year before. I didn’t know that we would be treated to a largely musical based score. I didn’t know that one of my beloved performers, Idina Menzel, would sing and sing and sing and sing. I didn’t know about the loss — though I should have because omg, Disney. Let’s kill all the parents, all the time — RIGHT?
I cried during the flipping movie. Multiple times. I felt multiple emotions — anger! sadness! fear! grief! happiness! anxiety! omgkissthegirl! And I hate the way we force supposed ideations of romance upon our children. But, OMG you guys. Kiss. The. Girl.
Basically, I’m a brunette Elsa.
“Don’t let them in, don’t let them see…” Yeah. I feel you, waif-like animated character that could probably use a few extra pounds or curves or whatever you use to make Disney characters not look like they’re starving. Can’t we have a Disney female character that isn’t a villain that presents some other size or shape of a body type? (Ursula remains a favorite simply for this fact.) I feel that pressure, to present the good, the calm the ready to make it happen. Shut it down. Push everything and everyone away. Nothing happening here.
I’ve been forced to play my hand a few times over the past year, had my feelings and thoughts and convictions called out on the line. It’s hard to be real when you just want to pull the wool over your eyes, the hoodie over your head, and hide beneath the safety net afforded you by life in general.
As frozen as I’ve been over the past (few) year(s), here I stand in the light of day. That perfect girl is gone.

It’s fine. Let the storm rage on.
The cold never bothered me anyway.