Words will never be enough.
Instead, the FireFamily released balloons this past Saturday for Maddie. We had talked about what we were doing with BigBrother ahead of time, that we were sending balloons to Maddie in heaven. And I’m glad we did it ahead of time…
Because as the wind swept those balloons away much more quickly than I had anticipated, I had to blink back the tears as I attempted to get a few photographs. I kept thinking, “No! Slow down! I just want a few more moments! I just need a few more moments.” And then, as I was snapping the pictures and those balloons kept racing away from us, I realized that’s likely how Maddie’s parents felt. Feel. I was overcome with the realities of the loss of such an innocent, beautiful life. I had no words left to share with my boys. I simply held my oldest son tightly as I struggled to carry him back to our truck. He’s far too big for me to carry him anymore…
But I just needed a few more moments. I figure there will never be enough moments to be had.
Today, on the day Maddie’s family is celebrating her life, we are wearing purple (clothes and on our blog) in honor and in remembrance. Today we continue to hug our boys just a little tighter while saying a prayer for those who know a loss that no one should ever have to know. Today we acknowledge that life is too fragile while simultaneously wanting to ignore that fact.
Today we thank the Spohr family for sharing Maddie with the rest of us.
As of late last night, we have decided to join the Burgh Moms & Dads March for Babies walk for Maddie on May 9, 2009. We have a small goal as we hadn’t planned on walking this year due to the fact that I’m speaking at a conference in Cleveland on the day of Columbus’ walk. However, I feel we need to ignore the crazy schedule we have starting on March 11th and join in the walk this year. We’ll be there. With purple on. Will you be there?
[As a reminder, you can still donate to the paypal account set up for the family to handle the costs associated with this sudden loss. You can also donate to the Spohr family’s March for Babies walk to be held on April 25, 2009.]