The boys teach me things everyday. And I like to think I’m learning well. Slowly, but well.
I will admit that I was in a bit of shock after LittleBrother came home. People had said that it would be hard but I figured that I could handle it. And it’s not that I couldn’t handle it. It’s just that whole transition period, where everything is thrown together all at once, was kind of, well, excruciating. I was learning to breastfeed. BigBrother was learning that well-timed tantrums could make me cry. We were exhausted. And those fluctuating hormones sure didn’t help. Did I mention that all of this happened during the holidays?
After some time passed, including a weekend in which my parents kidnapped BigBrother, things started to calm down. Breastfeeding started to come a bit more naturally and, thus, easier. BigBrother learned about the Naughty Chair. Sleep started to come in longer chunks of time. And, you know, the hormonal fluctuation started to even out. Oh, and thank goodness, the holidays got themselves over and done with allowing us to breathe once again.
I’ve started to find a groove. Not a routine, mind you, because that doesn’t happen up in here. But a groove. I’m able to figure out when LittleBrother is going to sleep long enough for me to shower. I’ve managed to take both boys out of the house without panicking (too much) or failing completely and aborting whatever mission we were set to accomplish. My hair, mind you, doesn’t always look great when I arrive at my destination but I’m just proud that I can make it anywhere, crazy hair or not.
I’m also learning that time spent with BigBrother is quite important right now. He hasn’t shown any jealousy towards LittleBrother. In fact, he enjoys giving him kisses, talking to him when he is in the bouncy seat and gets quite worried when LittleBrother isn’t in the room with us at any given time. But BigBrother needs some one-on-one time. He’s gotten quite a bit from FireDad while I’ve been busy breastfeeding LittleBrother, but I wanted to make sure he was getting some much-needed Mama-time, too.
And so we had some alone time on Saturday morning. Really, I had to run some errands. And I figured I would make the most of it. LittleBrother stayed with FireDad and BigBrother and I hit the town. In a low key fashion, of course. The whole time he was promised “something special” if he was “nice, held Mommy’s hand and didn’t throw fits.” We repeated this in the car, over and over and over, and, much to my delight, he was nice, held my hand and didn’t throw any fits. And so, the kid got his hair cut. Yes, BigBrother likes getting his hair cut. Whatever floats his boat.
Today’s “something special?” We took advantage of the seventy degree weather and went to the park. (The picture above.) All three of us. (FireDad is working.) I was panicked, really, that I wouldn’t be able to manage both of them at the playground. But, thanks to the wonders of babywearing, I was able to be mobile, help BigBrother out when necessary, push him on the swings and just enjoy the weather with a baby strapped to my chest. I felt pleased with myself. I had taken them both out. BigBrother got some special time with Mommy (and used up a lot of energy which resulted in a no-fuss naptime) and LittleBrother was involved, too. Tomorrow I think we’ll bake cookies.
I’m getting the hang of it. Even if my hair is awful.