What I Wore

What I Wore January 2014

I stopped posting my weekly What I Wore series as 2013 came to a close. It became a chore, and I don’t like my blogging time and space to feel like a chore. I like to stretch my creative wings, to flutter around, to do my thing without feeling the weight of “have to” pulling me down.

But I really liked the concept of sharing outfits, of talking about clothes or body image or shiny things or just generally writing whatever I wanted to while sharing photos. You know, like I do.

I got this great idea to post once a month, to share lots of pictures in just one post. It would remove the rush of taking a photo and writing something worthwhile on Sunday — a slightly busy day anyway with the churching and the running and the making of a big family meal. And instead of just Sundays, a dressier day for me, I would photograph midweek days as well, showing more of my style. I would make a collage, post individual photos of better outfits, and share some wisdom gained during the month. I changed the What I Wore Sunday category to simply What I Wore, I took down the Sunday series button in preparation for the new one I would put up on February 1, and then…

…January 2014 happened.

What a month, right?.

It was cold. Very cold. For me to say that it was cold means that it was cold. Most days, I hung out in my favorite, relaxed fit gray yoga pants, a long-sleeved shirt, and my gray hoodie. With gray slippers.

Love Me, Love My Hoodie
Hoodie: Fabletics.

And, come mid-month, a green knit hat.

Thanks, Sassymonkey!
Hat: Sassymonkey || Shirt: Columbus Marathon.

Fashion definitely wasn’t my focus. Finding flattering fits or colors or working with the winter weight that crept on when I wasn’t looking because relaxed fit yoga pants? No thank you. Some other things went on during the month that caused me to pull back and inward, to cocoon up within myself and the confines of my safe place, my home.

Running Gear
Running Tank: Fabletics || Running Tights: Fabletics; Running Jacket: C9 by Champion at Target; Running Shoes: Mizuno Wave Rider 16 at Amazon.

Not to say that I didn’t try. I did. I failed, but I tried. I occasionally got dressed in real clothes, but I mostly forgot to take pictures. Or, I did take pictures, but not one full length shot. Or, I did take pictures, but they weren’t really of the clothes. Or, or, or.

I Do Love My Snowflake Sweater
Snowflake Sweater: Route 66.

But I’m still sharing what I have, what I wore, here in this space. I’m kicking off the 2014 edition of my What I Wore series in the most lackadaisical way, the most pitiful attempt at a theme ever. Because it shows the truth of what this month felt like: a bunch of stop starts, a bunch of hiding, a bunch of staying home and praying for peace.

Print Dress, New lia sophia Necklace!
Green Paisley Dress: Analogy on Zulily; Kimberly Claire turquoise necklace: lia sophia’s new Spring/Summer Catalog.

Sweatshirt Dress, Chevron Leggings
Pewter Sweatshirt Dress: Delirious Apparel on Zulily, 2011; Chevron Leggings, 2011; Gray Suede Boots, 2010

Maybe I’ll do better in February, but it’s after noon and I’m wearing my pajamas. One step forward, two steps back.


What I Wore

What I Wore Sunday, December 8, 2013 — and a Note on Selfies

What I Wore Sunday, December 8, 2013

The backlash against “selfies,” once called self-portraits back in the day, makes me sad. Instead of seeing people — not just women, mind you — celebrating everything from the everyday mundane — a good hair day — to the hard-earned accomplishment — a marathon finish — we point fingers and tell them they’re wrong. Wrong for celebrating the little things, the big things. Wrong for making this face or that. Wrong for focusing on self. Wrong, wrong, wrong. The Internet remains very good at telling people they’re doing it wrong, but struggles to do what is right in and of itself.

Beyond that, the baseless attempt of calling all selfies a “cry for help” gave me pause.

Because… what if a selfie is a cry for help?

If someone came up to you, in person, and asked for help, would you turn them away? Would you mutter and snicker about their “cry for help” and point out how weak they are? What if they didn’t use verbal forms of communication to let you know that they needed help? Would you roll your eyes and walk away? What if someone you loved dearly walked into your home and looked unlike themselves, despondent and beyond sad? Would you ignore it?

Meditation Necklace

What if the girl who just posted a selfie of a good hair day is looking for just one good thing in her otherwise bad week, month, or life? What if the teenage boy who just shared a picture of himself playing the guitar just wants someone to ask him one thing — anything — about the feelings behind the chords? What if the mom who posts a picture of her toned body after delivery just wants one person to acknowledge that she’s still a human being, not just an incubator? What if the athlete just wants someone to say, “Good job,” instead of, “No one cares about your run.” (Note: I care.) What if that sad, puppy dog face that looks fake isn’t fake and the person behind the big, sad eyes needs someone — another human being — to care?

What if the smile on her face is plastered there? What if she’s trying to make everyone think everything is okay? What if she wouldn’t know what to say if you asked her if she was okay? What if it’s the hardest week of her year and she’s just trying to make it through without doing something stupid?

And instead of simply liking the photo or, you know, scrolling on by, you write a whiny comment or a vaguetweet or a Facebook post or a lengthy, self-righteous blog post about how you’re so sick and tired of selfies. Instead of reaching out, you push her away. Instead of offering a shoulder, you kick him while he’s down. Instead of involving yourself in that person’s life — really connecting via social media — you continue to perpetuate the false belief that online friendships aren’t real, that they don’t matter to those involved, that they can be tossed easily aside without feelings or repercussions.

You, then, are the source of the problem, not the selfie, cry for help or celebration or narcissism or everyday mundane nothingness or anything in between. You. Because if you see affirming other human beings that someone cares as a bad thing, you need someone to come into your life and offer you some affirmation that life isn’t as bad as you think it is.

I’m not claiming that every selfie is a cry for help. I don’t see the world that easily. I see the humans who post selfies as complex individuals that choose to share bits and pieces of their lives for any number of reasons. To connect, to reach out, to have a face to face moment in a faceless world, to breathe bits of life into an anonymous world, to celebrate, to cry out, to be real.

I Like Your Selfies

I want to see your selfies, when you need a pat on the back or a hug or a kick in the pants. I want to celebrate with you, I want to cry with you. I want you to know that even when you think that no one cares, someone does. Especially then.