BlogHer ’14 Selfiebration: I Brought My Game

Last year at BlogHer ’13, I ended up with a total of four pictures of myself with my friends. And five of myself with my husband. While pictures with my husband are always welcome, I felt pretty peeved with myself that I didn’t take more photos with people who mean a lot to me. And with total strangers, because conference!

And so I brought myself Selfie game to the Selfiebration at BlogHer ’14. Let’s take a look.

We start out traveling where we got caught in the air above San Francisco because Air Force One hadn’t cleared the airport. #thanksobama It was a tiring, long day of travel, but then we went to dinner with our besties, woke up early to hit the gym, and then I started working.

From the Beginning

The Selfiebration at the Expo was awesome and I maybe pledged to “write the damn book” by the age of 35 at The Timeline Project booth. But here’s the thing: the book changed and I know it did, so I have to start all over. Womp womp. Anyway, the new picture is now hanging over my desk where I will ignore it until I am 34.75 years old.

I don’t have to tell you how amazing VOTY was. Oh wait, I already did.

On Into VOTY and Saturday

One important selfie, or uhm, groupie, needed placement of its own. It belongs chronologically on the night of Voices and Photos of the Year. As I sat back stage, blubbering because my Burgh Baby wasn’t there and it just didn’t freaking feel right because we did all of this together for so stinkin’ long, I remembered that she was with us. She won a PHOTY. So those of us that love her so posed with her photo. And then I maybe cried a little bit more.


The end of the conference came much too quickly, but the closing party was EPIC. And a HALF! Times 87!

Let's Close This Mother Down

Content wise, the keynotes were just absolutely amazing. If you haven’t seen the Kerry Washington selfie yet, you need to go look. I enjoyed every single 10×10 presentation by our long-time community members. I felt inspired to do things and write things and go places and be more and so on. The killer for me was the opening video. Go watch it.

I am a birth mother. I am BlogHer.

Yeah. That happened. And yeah, I cried.

My deeply personal moment came during The Future of Personal Blogging Mini-Con. I attended as I write a personal blog and am deeply invested in what the future holds for me, for the people like me, for our genre, for our online lives. I listened with great interest, held a few side conversations at my table, accidentally made my table snort laugh, and really enjoyed the topic at hand. But I had a question to ask. So I asked it.

“How do you know when you’re done personal blogging? And what do you do when you get to that point?”

The room was kind of quiet. It’s a big question, an important one. Some of the technicalities were discussed, like what to do with your online spaces and the like. But then Elan Morgan, otherwise known as Schmutzie, answered me with this important line:

“When your community is no longer feeding you, maybe it’s time.”

And I maybe blinked a few tears.

I’ve been searching for confirmation that I did the right thing in yanking down Chronicles, my now defunct adoption blog, last year in the hasty way that I did. I didn’t seek advice. I didn’t ask questions. I didn’t even fully think it through enough to realize that pulling it down, the hosting and all, would mean a blog I was hosting for someone else on the domain would be negatively affected. I just pulled that sucker down. Gone.

And after hearing Elan’s comment, it was the right choice.

I do still write about adoption here, as it makes sense in our daily life. But the adoption community was no longer feeding me. They were strangling me, suffocating me, pigeon-holing me. I was am so much more than they wanted me to be, than they allowed me to be. And in doing so, they were also negatively affecting my other writing, both at work and here in this space that I do cherish and love so much.

I have, over the past year, moved a couple of favorite posts into the chronologically placed archives of this space. But that community stopped feeding me. And maybe I stopped needing being fed by them. So thank you, Elan, from the bottom of my heart.

I stepped outside of my normal shell a little bit this year, taking pictures with people, talking to people I don’t normally talk to (meaning anyone outside of my immediate safety zone). I stood on a stage and poured my heart out. I worked hard. I danced. I laughed. I snorted. I ate amazing crepes and missed my grandmother so much my heart ached; but she was there with me—I felt her. I had conversations in hotel hallways. I made new friends. I left San Jose with the knowledge that I am a different person than the one who discovered BlogHer in 2006.

And that I’m pretty darn okay with who I am in 2014.

Thank you, BlogHer, for a great experience.


8 replies on “BlogHer ’14 Selfiebration: I Brought My Game”

Oh lordy you scared me there for a second. I though you were going to announce the end of SD&B and oh, my … NO! Just NO please don’t.

Glad you had such a great conference. Just a teensy bit jealous of your VOTY award, but you SO earned it. Congrats!

While I understand your decision to close it, I know I still miss Chronicles, and several of my friends do too. You had a great impact on so many people in the adoption community.

When I heard you ask that question, I thought you were thinking of shutting down Stop, Drop, and Blog, and I just about panicked. Good to know you were just confirming the other decision.

I love this. So much. And all the dancing. Because that ruled.

I’m so proud of you. For VOTY. For big conversations. For hard questions. For doing what you needed to do when you needed to do (even though I totally didn’t support it at the time! Because I was just getting to know you and didn’t have a chance to read the archives before it was gone!)

And you’re right. BlogHer isn’t the same without BurghBaby. At all. I should’ve put that in the post-conference survey.



I know when you closed Chronicles, it had a massive impact on me emotionally, but I understood why. I still understand why. You were still feeding others with your wisdom and voice, but when you aren’t getting that in return, it’s hard to find a way to make the words form properly.

I was sitting behind you when that slide come up.I didn’t know it was there, and even though it wasn’t my words, I still had a sharp intake of breath and cried. Because I am her too. Mostly though, because, if you hadn’t blogged about that aspect of your life, I wouldn’t be here doing the same. Your words meant everything to me, and they saved me in so many ways as well.

I’m glad we got to hug and take a selfie, and that I got to rub the wine off your dress (what a special moment! ;)) You are amazing, Jenna. You really are.

I’m glad we selfied at the party, and I’m glad we finally met in person. And that I’m finally getting a chance to read your blog (wait, you’re not just a person I know on Twitter?) :) xo

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *