I Am Not a Unicorn

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14 Replies to “I Am Not a Unicorn”

  1. It funny & sad how society has this idea of how birth parents must feel, it’s such a stereotype. I have to say, I think we are all unicorns, all people are unicorns. People are ‘amazed’ that I fly to the other side of the country so my daughter can see her firstfather, call me a unicorn. Hardly! I just do the best I can, and life is full of twists & turns, we deal with them all the best we can.

  2. Thanks for this post- I really enjoyed it – we are all real that’s for sure! The experiences are real, and as you note, the pain is also real!

  3. Thank you so much for this post. My husband is an adoptee who has been in reunion for about 15 months. This roller coaster ride has prompted me to do lots and lots of reading on blogs from all sides of the triad. It’s refreshing to read someone put his thoughts (from the other side of the triad) into words so eloquently. Just because he feels that his life story has turned out to be a good one (note I did not say perfect) that he has enjoyed thus far, and just because he doesn’t resent that he’s adopted or feel the primal would that other adoptees feel does not make him a “rainbow farter”. Thank you for saying exactly how you feel without a sugar coating while still saying it with tact and class. I can feel your sweet soul from here!!!

  4. Wow, thank you for this amazing post. I feel like I’m constantly standing up for and battling these negative thoughts of my son’s b/m. I hate hate hate stereotypes and hate it for her that she has to deal with that.

    You are very deserving of the award! Congrats. I’m a new reader of your’s and can’t wait to read more :)

  5. Amazing! Thank you so much. I am a “waiting” potential adoptive parent who feels very strongly about the issues you address in your blog. We chose open adoption not because we felt it would necessarily lessen any sense of loss on the part of the birthparent or adoptee, but because it feels like the most honest path. Everybody in the triad is entitled to their own feelings, no matter what they are. We are all human. None of this; placing a child, adopting a child, being a child, parenting, hell, living, is easy. And none of us is anything more or less than human.

  6. I too wish I were a unicorn. A unicorn wouldn’t hurt the way I do today. Yesterday adoption was a beautiful thing today it just sucks. Nothing really changed between yesterday and today. I just feel my very real, ununicorn like grief today. I don’t want to put my brave face on today, but I do because I have a husband at work and three young boys at home to parent. Tonight my very compassionate husband will come home, see the house is fairly messy, the dishes are only part way done but the kids are still alive and healthy, then send me to bed. I know he will do this because that is what he’s been doing a couple of days a month for the last year as I’ve dealt with my grief. I placed over 11 years ago and it still hurts. Some days worse than others. Today was a day that really hurt and I too wish I was a unicorn.

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