I’m Worth Four* Holes in the Wall

Today I did something new, something I hadn’t ever done before though it had crossed my mind. I didn’t skydive; I’m afraid of heights. I didn’t organize my sock drawer; I don’t have one. I didn’t attempt a new recipe; just making good ole chili tonight. No.

Today I hung canvases of photographs on the wall. On our living room wall. Of my photographs. That didn’t feature our children.

Photos
They look better/brighter in person. Instagram photo.

It comes as a shock to me that I’ve never hung any of my photographs on the wall. I’ve always said I’m going to do it. I look at photos and think, “Oh, that would look lovely.” But I’ve never sat down, placed an order and jumped up and down when it arrived.

Until today.

I don’t know why. Or, okay, wait. I do. I’m a liar. I do know why. I’ve never hung my own photographs on the wall because I didn’t consider myself a real photographer. Even though I am. It’s taken over a year of owning an official title to believe that I’m good at what I do. And, to be honest, I was a real photographer before the title and I’ll be one long after it. More over, I didn’t hang them on the wall because I thought they weren’t good enough. Which is bull, because they are. Probably has something to do with my perfectionism and that I still can’t quite get a rebound shot right or that I still forget to check settings before I shoot and inevitably end up with a shot of something or someone in either a snowstorm or a blackout. Or how I’m constantly doing something wrong at work or forgetting my memory card at home (omg). Or maybe it’s because spending money on myself feels wrong — especially if it’s to “show off” something that I accomplished. Or maybe it’s because I always sell myself short. Probably. Yeah, it’s that.

Whatever the case, I’m over it. That’s right. I said it. I’m over it.

I chose my three favorite non-family photos of 2010 to print on canvas. But here are the three that now hang on the wall above my upstairs work space.

4.365 - Closer Still
January 2010

Picture Summer Class, Day 1
June 2010

DSC_1612edit
October 2010: Winner in Indie Ink’s Autumn Contest

After I hung them, I realized I should have chosen four, one for each season. But I’ll do that next year. That’s right. Next year. Because I’m doing this again. These three will move down to my office and the new four will grace my work corner upstairs. Because I’m worth it. Because I’m good at what I do. Because I’m tired of selling myself short in absolutely everything I do. It’s not fair to me. It’s not fair to the children that I’m raising; how are they supposed to believe in themselves if I don’t believe in myself? It’s not fair to my husband. It’s just not fair.

This post is an extension of what I’ll be posting as my focus word for 2011. But there are changes afoot. And they feel good.

* = You may have noticed that the title says four holes in the wall. Yes, well, I mis-measured the first piece. But I’m still worth it.

 

Shop Chloe + Isabel

14 Replies to “I’m Worth Four* Holes in the Wall”

  1. I have always thought of you as a professional photographer. My fave photos of yours are all the ones with your “boyfriend” the cardinal and his wife. I’m glad you took that leap and are hanging your gorgeous pics on the wall. Did you use snapfish?

  2. Beautiful shots. I’m totally following u on instagrm. Anyway, you’re right in doing something for yourself. Happy holidays. Keep up the good work. BTW. Where did you place your order from I have a shot of my son with Santa I’d love in canvas. Up on my instagrm.

  3. You are an excellent photographer and I would be proud to hang many of your photos in my house. This past year I started hanging my stuff, I haven’t invested in a canvas yet, but soon I will, I hope.

    Are you doing 365 this year again? I got to 102 before I fizzled out, well I didn’t fizzle but I had a lot of personal stuff going on and I couldn’t bring myself to pick up my camera for a bit of time. But come Saturday I think I am doing a ‘real’ camera version and an iPhone version. Join me :O)

  4. I love all the pictures!! You are TRULY talented!! I love the idea of doing one for each season as well! My pictures never look like that :) Thanks for sharing them!

  5. So proud of you. You’ve been doing professional level work for several years now, whether you had the official title or not. I don’t know if you remember, but the first time you posted the Jan photo, I commented that I thought you needed to look into selling your work! There’s a gallery in Breckenridge CO that we’ve gone to for years and your photos of nature are definitely on par with what I’ve seen and purchased there!

    Wishing you a Happy New Year!

  6. You know, I do the same thing. I have some of my pics hanging up in the store I work at, and the people I work with are always quick to tell customers that I took the “awesome artwork” on the walls….But I always have a hard time picking out which ones to hang (because I obviously hate them all) and I don’t have a website or a photoblog so I just don’t “feel” like a photographer.
    Love your pics, though. Good choices.

  7. Beautiful, beautiful photos. I got a new camera for Christmas and I’m still working out the new dials and buttons. Hope I can take some shots half as beautiful as these.

    PS That little bird in the snow? Just tuuuggs my heartstrings!

  8. You are SO worth it. The other day was the first time I ever told someone I do photography when they asked what I do. It’s amazing how different the conversation was compared to when I usually give what my money making job is. I even got a client from it!

  9. I came over from “Catch the Kids” blog to see your photography. She was right, it’s wonderful! I love the autumn leaves, breath taking….I’ll be back!

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