What Do I Want for My Birthday? Glad You Asked!

FireDad asked me what I want for my birthday, which falls near the end of this month. I looked at him and said, as I do every year, “I don’t know.”

I lied.

I didn’t do it intentionally. The “I Don’t Know” answer is an automatic reflex. “What do you want for dinner?” I don’t know. “Where do you want to go on our date?” I don’t know. “Why can’t you ever just answer my questions with a decisive answer?” I. Don’t. Know. I usually have answers to these things. Something spicy. The theatre, and not the movie kind. Because I like to drive you crazy? Right?

The truth is that there are a lot of things I might want to open on my birthday. A funky fisheye lens and adapter from Photojojo would be swell. Or some good books. Or even what I assume is a horrible book, though I still feel compelled to read it. I’m also eying this awesome necklace on Etsy.

But I didn’t feel like telling him any of those things. Sure, stuff is nice. But, what I really want for my birthday is for someone, be it my (loving, attentive) husband or my (loud but loving) sons or my parents or my friends or my (stinky but loving) brother or, really, anyone to make a Big Deal about my birthday. Not with gifts. Just a Big Deal. I want someone to bake me a cake. Or buy one. Or cupcakes! I want a nice dinner with my family. Or without them. I want music to be playing. I think I might want a glass of wine. Or three. I want to hear laughter. I want to be surrounded by my friends and family. Not a fancy thing. Not a big thing.

That’s right.


I want a birthday party.

When I was thirteen, which is a big birthday for a girl, none of my friends remembered that it was my special day. No one said, “Welcome to teenagedom!” No one gave me a card. No one passed me a note in the hallway wishing me a happy day and year. I got on the bus and cried all the way home. The year that I turned twenty-five, FireDad had to work. I stopped at the grocery store to buy myself a cake mix, some frosting (these were my pre-baking/cooking days) and margarita mix. When the cashier asked if I was throwing a party, I said, “It’s my birthday!” She said, “You’re baking your own cake? That’s sad.” I cried the whole way home. I know the song goes, “It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to,” but I’d really like to experience a birthday without tears. Unless they’re ones of happiness or laughter.

I’ll soon turn twenty-nine. I remember being young and thinking that 29 sounded positively ancient. It’s not. In fact, I’m realizing as those numbers loom at the end of this month that it is so very young. And you know what? I’ve done a lot with my twenty-nine years. And I’m proud of it, of myself. Even though LittleBrother told me, just this morning, that twenty-nine was “vewwy, vewwy owld.” I’ll remind him of that some day but, knowing him, he’ll probably just laugh. I could learn a lesson or two from his easy-going personality.

I’m unsure if I’ll throw something together for my birthday or not. I know that my parents will probably drive  out, given that my birthday is on a Sunday. April weather is fickle so I can’t necessarily plan a cookout or anything spectacular. But I know I want people to be around, and not just my three favorite boys. I’m not asking for a surprise party (I hate surprises). I’m just asking for a get-together. Without a house/brush/vehicle fire calling my husband away from the house as happens almost every year.

Is that too much to ask?

So, who is coming?

[Disclosure: Some of the links above are through Amazon Associates. Others are not. And if you buy that Etsy necklace for any purpose other than gifting it to me, I’ll cry. See above for how I feel about crying this birthday.]


18 Replies to “What Do I Want for My Birthday? Glad You Asked!”

  1. My birthday is during the summer, so during my school years of course I never had anyone make much of a big deal out of it. And now that I’m out of school by a good number of years (ahem), I still barely get a happy birthday. It sucks, so I understand wanting a bit of attention.
    .-= C @ Kid Things´s last blog ..A Shit-uation =-.

  2. I’d love to come to your birthday party!!! I hope you have a wonderful bash with cake, balloons and streamers! oh, and loot bags! and table presents (your kids will love it if you start a tradition of table presents!)

    Maybe it can even be a costume party!! Whatever it ends up being, I hope it’s FABULOUS, just like you.
    .-= andy´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.

  3. Well, clearly your readers need to throw you a wild and wonderful virtual party right here! I’ll bring balloons. And a big batch of homemade ice cream! What”s your favorite flavor? Potluck OK for the rest of it? Anyone in for chips and dip? When’s the date?

    Oh, and Andy suggested costumes — Wooooo! I’ve got a feather boa. Does that count as a costume??

  4. I hear ya! I have never had a birthday party in all my 32 years-I would love something on my 33rd, but I doubt that is going to happen. It stinks and I wish that my birthday was more of a big thing. I have friends that plan stuff for their birthdays and do everything but skywrite about how its their day in the sky. But I don’t want to have to do it all, I just want to enjoy it.

    I will come down for your birthday-just let me know when it is and I am there!

    .-= Domestic Extraordinaire´s last blog ..Looking into those eyes =-.

  5. Do you remember your birthday and the cake we had @ my house? How we set the smoke detectors off with the lighting of the 16 candles on the ice cream cake at that. LOL. Remember us going and getting are pics taken together…I should dig them out. Hope you get to have your party. Its always nice to be able to be with family on your special days.

  6. I would totally make and send you cupcakes if I knew they’d get there still edible!! And I’d throw you a birthday party too. My parents started bribing with me cash if I didn’t have a party when I was younger. And I fell for it. Now I too wish someone would throw me a party. I’ll be the big 3-0. I think that deserves a party. Now how to drop hints to Jason…
    .-= Kristen´s last blog ..Cookies ‘n Cream Cupcakes =-.

      1. That’s what most of my friends say. (I’m the baby of my friend group.) So I’ll just trust everyone. But I’m really planning on making 29 SUPER FABULOUS!

  7. Aww, I would throw you a party! (Where do you live?)

    My sixteenth birthday was like that. Have you ever seen Sixteen Candles. I always wanted to be Molly Ringwald (okay um, I’m old) and then my 16th birthday was like that movie and I really did feel like I was her.

    Just tell FireDad you want a big freaking deal for your birthday. Or, better yet, does he read this blog? Then he’ll know!

      1. Have a party on a day close to your birthday?

        What I do is get my kids all wound up about my birthday, sort of like they do in school about holidays. I’ll start about two months before, talking about it, and keep counting down. They get so excited, they think it’s like a holiday, and they make me tons of cards and jump around and sing to me and, well, I love it!

        1. I should totally make them SUPER excited about my birthday. However, LB says, “My birfday is FIRST,” when I start talking about my birthday. Two year old kiddos. So egocentric! ;)

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