Missing My Boys

I am in Philadelphia to attend my daughter’s mom’s wedding. Yesterday I traipsed into NYC for Swagapalooza (which I will be bringing you a series of videos all next week via MomTV). I will be staying with my uncle and aunt tomorrow evening after the wedding. I don’t plan on heading home until noon on Sunday, placing me back in our house sometime around bedtime that day.

And I’m miserable.

Don’t get me wrong. Swagapalooza was amazing. And not even just the swag (though I have some great reviews for you). I met some great people (bloggers, reporters and PR reps alike). And I had an amazing cupcake. I didn’t indulge in the open bar because I don’t drink much. But the cupcake, oh, the cupcake. And, of course, the visit I am having with Munchkin’s family is amazing. (More on Chronicles later today.) I always love spending time with them and, yes, I’m taking pictures.

But, oh, I miss my boys.

I don’t spend much time away from them, away from home. I do things for and by myself (show choir, Bible study) but I’m just not gone for long periods of time. This is made evident by the following discussion with BigBrother on the phone today:

BigBrother: Are you at coffee? (I go for coffee once a week with friends.)
Me: No.
BigBrother: Where you are?
Me: I’m visiting Munchkin and JD.
BigBrother: Oh… *pause* I miss you.

The pause in his voice kind of broke my heart. The fact that he thought that I was only right down the street was kind of sad as well. Of course, these realizations have also made me feel grateful. The fact that I get to have so much time with my children makes me a very, very lucky mother. (And hopefully my children very, very lucky children.) While I have earned and deserved and am enjoying this time away, I miss them. That’s allowed, right?

I’m hoping that this lovely, whirlwind weekend will give me a slight reprieve. I’m hoping that I’ll be a well-relaxed Mommy when I return. Mostly I’m hoping to make it home before they’re asleep so I can have tons and tons of hugs. I miss the hugs. Maybe not the meltdowns and the smart mouths. But the hugs, oh the hugs. And nose kisses. And… and… and.

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