Today started out like any other of FireDad’s shift days. He pressed snooze on his alarm too many times. I elbowed him in the back. He showered and left after giving me a kiss. BigBrother woke up shortly thereafter and we started our day. Being Wednesday, we went and had coffee with some of my friends. We returned home, had lunch and LittleBrother went down for his nap. Then things went off course.
Our neighbor’s house was broken into. In broad daylight. While they were home.
The Police arrived shortly after their landlord, our friend, arrived. I answered some questions. The intruder was known by the tenants of the house. (Note: if you plan on robbing a house, make sure they don’t know your license plate number. Also invest in a muffler so the neighbor doesn’t get a good description of your car and face.) That should make me feel somewhat more calm, right? It was a personal issue. Most robbers aren’t stupid enough to return to the scene of the crime. Plus, as he is already identified, it shouldn’t take the police all that long to track him down, right?
But I’m not feeling safe.
FireDad is working today. I am now home alone with two little boys. We will be home alone until FireDad returns home from the Fire Department… at 7:30 tomorrow morning. That’s an awful long night of listening to bumps and noises and generally being on high alert. I don’t predict much sleep tonight. If any.
It’s little, unpredictable things like this that make me curse the 24 on, 48 off schedule that firefighters and their families endure. Instead of arriving home and bringing my anxiety level down in two and a half hours, he won’t be home for about seventeen or so hours. I need to manage both of the children on my own while trying to act normal. Nothing feels normal. My home wasn’t even invaded and I still feel vulnerable. Granted, if FireDad was at home today, I’d still listen to every single sound tonight and freak out. But his presence is a calming factor in our life… and he’s not here.
As such, today is likely to be a very long day. I’d be rejoicing about my new windows but my only thought is that if some intruder so much as dares to break one of my precious new windows, I’m going to be pretty darn angry.
And then I go back to being scared.